Written By Aspen, – Official Contributor of The Crowned Series

I recently found myself indulging in a newly released teen romance drama. The movie wasn’t exactly groundbreaking but ever since I watched, one quote stuck out to me: “Adults are just scared kids who were lucky to make it out of limbo alive”. The movie, although centered around young love, focuses on the trauma that we experience in adolescence and the ways we carry that with us over time. It poses the argument that society as a whole does not spend enough discussing the deep emotion that we are capable of experiencing in our youth. 

The quote stuck with me because I’m intrigued by the representation of our youth, particularly our teen years, as this “limbo” that we must fight our way out of to reach adulthood. Even though I’ve done a lot to live the dream of “adulting” I feel like there should have been some more fanfare into this idea of adulthood or at least a better marker. As a new dog mom, I certainly have some responsibility now. Plus, I also have a couple bills that certainly feel like an “adult” problem when I read those statements. But I don’t feel like I’ve necessarily started some life changing new chapter in my life, no matter how much I tell myself I should. 

So, I’ve given some more thought to this idea of limbo as a time marker these past few days. I connected this with the fact that I started regular therapy a few months ago. After hearing from several friends about how helpful it can be to just have someone to share with and unpack life happenings, I finally decided to give it a go. I realized that even though I’ve spent the past few years working jobs that at times require me to serve as a makeshift therapist of sorts, my advice is a hell of a lot easier to give than it is to take for myself. 

Despite being transparent when I do share, I am a rather private person. I’m largely an internal processor and I don’t like to share how I’m feeling or what I think because I don’t want to burden others. So I’m very calculated and intentional about when I share, how much, and with whom. I have spent so much of my life absorbing the feelings of those around me with very limited skills on safe release of those emotions and my own ones which have compounded over time.

Therapy is exactly that — a safe release. Therapy is me talking about myself, my experiences, and my reactions to those experiences almost nonstop and surprisingly, it’s quite refreshing. 

If I were to rate the experience, I say 100/10 recommend. The first few sessions consisted of me going through nearly an entire box of tissues as my therapist asked me about things that I 100% spent most of my adolescence repressing but it was probably for the best. She is very good at letting me talk and letting me come to my own conclusions. Several years of helping others means that the things my therapist tells me often confirm what I already know about myself, but sometimes taking action to put myself first means that I need to hear those things from someone else.

My parents still cringed and then brushed me off when I told them therapy could be really helpful to everyone in our immediate family to unpack years of pent up feelings. Mental health has always been a sore spot for them and they have thought of it as a way to “get better” when someone has a mental health concern. I don’t see it like that as I recognize that making regularly scheduled time for someone to listen to you in the good and the bad times can be somewhat cathartic in essence and you don’t necessarily have to wait to do that until you are in crisis. Nonetheless, I at least appreciate them considering the possibility, even if only for 60 seconds, and not trying to shut my suggestion down completely. Thankfully on the other hand, I’ve also had friends who are very excited for me and some who I have even referred because they are interested in also pursuing regular therapy.

After the thought that I’ve given it, I’ve decided that this concept of limbo goes hand in hand with our mental health. It doesn’t have to be this metaphorical battle that we claw our way out of in order to reach adulthood on the other side of the cave. In fact, many of us still might even be in limbo when we reach adulthood. I have found that talking to someone through the anxiety and stressors that I experience on a day to day basis, some of which I’ve known for most of my life and some that are new, can be very productive and liberating. It gives me hope that I one day move on from limbo, gradually and casually, in order to find myself in a place that I envision myself in the future.

After the thought that I’ve given it, I’ve decided that this concept of limbo goes hand in hand with our mental health. It doesn’t have to be this metaphorical battle that we claw our way out of in order to reach adulthood on the other side of the cave. In fact, many of us still might even be in limbo when we reach adulthood. I have found that talking to someone through the anxiety and stressors that I experience on a day to day basis, some of which I’ve known for most of my life and some that are new, can be very productive and liberating. It gives me hope that I one day move on from limbo, gradually and casually, in order to find myself in a place that I envision myself in the future.

Aspen, Official Contributor of The Crowned Series

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