Written By Victoria B., – Official Contributor of The Crowned Series
There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family. -Unknown
As an only child, I have always longed for at least one sister. Growing up I would see the incredible bond siblings would share and wished to have the same thing. It wasn’t until recently did I realize that I do have that bond, not just with one person, but with several. For my 21st birthday, I was with five of my closest friends. Most of them I have known for five or more years. It was when I was editing one of the photos we took that I realized I have such a special and unique connection with every single one of them. There are some that I talk to and hangout out with every day and others that I speak to once in a while (but it feels like no time has passed). These are the friendships that are cultivated to stand the test of time. We all laugh together, cry together, rejoice in one another’s successes. This, for me, is the true meaning of sisterhood. Being able to go through life with people that evolve and grow with you, not relish in your mistakes or misfortunes.
This realization made me understand the beauty of being an only child. One is being able to create their family with people they feel that will uplift them and vice versa. This is something that I value and am grateful for as I have the ability to meticulously develop a larger support system that benefits all parties involved. My mom always used to say (and still does to this day), “Surround yourself with people that lift you up, not tear you down.” This ideology seems pretty straight forward but is quite difficult in practice. It took me years to grasp the notion that not everyone is genuine even if they seem like it. Take, for example, my Freshman year of college. I made “friends” with almost everyone I met which served to my disadvantage. I was focused more on quantity rather than quality.
Growing up emphasis is put on warning us against having people close to you that do drugs and were a negative influence but the idea of manipulative friends in other forms rarely made the conversation. I gave so much of myself to people that never gave me anything in return. These are the parasitic exchanges that inevitably suck all the joy and life out of a person. I pride myself on analyzing those I considered friends and making the decision to end those that were toxic. It took me a minute but I finally realized that it’s okay to not entertain people that serve as a deficit to your growth. I choose to give thanks to those negative experiences because they make positive ones so much more special. By refining the circle of people I consider my friends, I was able to focus my energy on building up true friendships.
Sisterhood comes in many different forms. Whether it’s from actual blood sisters to sorority sisters, to best friends or mentors. Each relationship is crucial to the success of one another. It’s the idea of building your own personal community that empowers all those apart of it. It is created through shared experiences, whether they are positive or negative. To end this blog post, I’d like to share a powerful quote.
“Sisterhood provides a safe space for your truest self to emerge. It is a place where your tears are caught, not judged; where you are held, not ridiculed; and where it’s okay not be okay.” – Makeda Pennycooke
– Victoria B., Official Contributor of The Crowned Series