Jaleesha Allen is 29-years-old and has a 3-year-old daughter, Barbie, and is currently pregnant with a baby boy.
The day I met Jaleesha was on October 20, 2014 at my best friend Dominique’s baby shower. Up until that point, I had only heard about Jaleesha from Dominique and Jaleesha’s soon-to-be husband at the time, Dre. A month before I her, Jaleesha had given birth to her first daughter, Barbie. As I have gotten to know her, Jaleesha has always given off a “mom” type vibe. Not because she has a child, but because it’s natural for her. She wants to make sure you are okay and have the things you need. You encourages you to want more for yourself and from the people around you.
After Jaleesha told me about her family, I knew why she had a mom vibe. It was because she and her sisters were raised by their mother. Jaleesha grew up in a house where she saw her mom make sacrifices for her and her sisters. She saw how her mom was tough on them but kind at the same time. So, it’s second nature for Jaleesha to be the exact same way with those she cares for. Sometimes when we Facetime and Jaleesha is at home with Barbie, I watch Barbie climb on Jaleesha’s head and laugh because Jaleesha keeps on talking to me like nothing is happening. Then she’ll say, “Girl. You see how my life is set up right now?”
Jaleesha gives you a small glimpse into what it is like to be a mother below.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
I was so scared and honestly nervous to introduce a pregnancy out of wedlock. Me and Dre were just returning to school for the final semester of grad school. And it was shocking to us as we were preparing to go out that night. Drinks were bought and we were headed to the hookah bar. I suddenly didn’t feel well and realized my body wasn’t functioning as it would as that point (no signs of my period). We went to Walmart and got two tests. And BOOM! They were both positive. We immediately called our parents.
What is it like being a mom?
Being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding thing I do and have ever done. I have someone that depends on me 24-7. She needs to be constantly taught and supported. As a mom your patience is constantly tested. My world revolves around my daughter.
What is it like raising your child in a two-parent household?
Raising a child in a two-parent household can be very rewarding. I love seeing Barbie’s bond with her father. I feel two parents give children a balance and makes them feel very loved. As a mom your contribution seems to weigh much more than what the chid receives from the father. But for a baby girl emotionally they really need their father, I think she would feel incomplete without the both of us.
Share a brief story about a moment where you felt scared before or while being a mom.
A fearful moment was during my labor, Barbie’s heart rate began to drop. At that moment I was willing to do anything to ensure she was born healthy. It had got to the point where they were going to give me a C-section. And I was arguing with the doctor about letting me do a natural delivery. The doctor finally listened and I pushed her out in 7 minutes. I was relieved that she was born healthy. It is hard to recall all of the emotions I felt during that time because I was going through all that pain and fear at once.
What makes you happy about having a child?
Barbie gives me so much joy. Some days I’m down and she says or does something that makes me laugh. Such a sweet and innocent soul. In addition she’s so cute. Having a child gives you reason to work hard everyday. I have to remain an example and provide the most stable environment.
You are pregnant with baby number 2! Congrats! How do you feel about being a young mom with 2 small children?
I think it will be tough, but I’m very happy they will be able to grow up together. I’m nervous about my time management and being effective as a parent, but I know it will be okay.
What advice do you have for new mothers out there? For single mothers?
New mothers: Be open, being a mother comes with many challenges and changes.
Single mothers: You are amazing, you are appreciated and your children will recognize all you do someday. My only advice is that children are put first and if their father is willing and wants to be apart of their lives, please let them. Life is so short.